Brown shoe quarterly
The following quotations are taken from an interview with Brown Shoe Quarterly.
Ryan (guitar, vocals) -“After the operation I found the music was far easier to play”
B.S.Q. – “What do you mean when you say operation?”
Ryan – "Well due to my enormous ego my head swelled to the point that I could no longer hear so I had my ear drums removed”
B.S.Q. – “Amazing” Jim (Drums) – “I can hogtie a goat in under five seconds”
B.S.Q. – “How does that make you feel?”
Ryan – “I’m sorry I thought this interview was about me”
Ryan leaves the interview.
B.S.Q – “So, Jim where are the other members of your band?”
Jim – “Bryson is working on his ridiculously good looking physique and as far as the only other member, he’s doing the interview of Brown Shoe for Brown Shoe Quarterly”
B.S.Q. /Aaron (Amazing lead guitarist/keys) “I heard that your lead guitarist is the backbone of your band and that without him you guys would be nothing”
Jim – “Next question”
B.S.Q./Aaron – “I think America deserves an answer!”
Jim – “Decline to state”
B.S.Q. /Aaron – “Are you afraid of the truth? Can you not handle that I am this band and that without me there’d be no hip shakin’, money makin’, groove thing, or whatever. I demand an answer.” (Jim begins to sob)
Jim – “I’ve worked my whole life to have the talent you have in just one of your pinky toes. I haven’t left the ranch in over a year afraid that if I stop playing for five minutes I won’t be an Aaron level musician.”
Jim pulls out a knife and threatens to take his own life. Aaron lunges at Jim and takes the knife right out of Jim’s hand but because of Aaron’s unexpected brut strength his momentum carries his muscular hand through the air and straight into Cousin Jim’s baby toe. Fortunate for Jim it was his sixth toe.
Bryson (Bass Guitar) – "Hey what’s up guys. Did I miss anything?"
Due to the extreme lives of rock stars I’m sure that some elements of this story seam a bit far fetched. If you have any doubt all you have to do is look at Cousin Jim’s left foot and you’ll see that he only has five toes. Only then you will know that Brown Shoe Quarterly tells no lies. All elements of this story are based on part truths.